I am in full out wrath mode toward creepy guys and the f-d up guy culture that creates creepy guys.
Because of creepy guy on my bus I am now taking alternate transportation to and from work. This alternate transportation includes some healthier options (biking, for example). And a some speedier options (again, biking, and also driving). That is not the point.
The point is that I loved my bus routine and now I'm not doing it because creepy guy was asking way too many personal questions, telling me narratives of his "works in progress" all of which had to do with women not being sexually satisfied by their husbands and going on quests for great sex, suggesting I stop by his apartment sometime to see his paintings and, while looking for a "card" with his address on it in his wallet, inadvertently revealing to me that his wallet photo case contains pictures of women in lingere.
What makes me more angry is that I feel the need to defend myself, to say "I did nothing to bring this on." And I didn't. I rode the bus. That was it. Oh, and I didn't say "get the fuck away" when he sat next to me. But otherwise, I just rode my route, knitting or reading happily.
That I even feel I need to say something about my own culpability says to me there is some expectation -- perhaps only in my own mind, but I suspect culturally -- that if I'm being harassed, I must have somehow invited it. Which makes me really afraid of ever being raped. If creepy bus encounters must somehow be my fault, what about full-on physical assualt?
And then I feel guilty (though it doesn't stop me from doing it -- I'm not a martyr after all) about the fact that my socio-economic position provides other options for me. I can (I hope) escape creepy guy by using my car. What about other women he might harass for whom the bus is their only transportation? What about other women the world over who can't escape disturbed, low-life, unstable, misogynist, creepy fucking guys?
And all any of us is doing is trying to live our lives for Pete's sake.