Friday, February 29, 2008

Your birth story in abbreviated form

Another piece from The New Yorker got me thinking. The new book "Not Quite What I Was Planning" is a compilation of six-word autobiographies from famous and run-of-the-mill people. Its inspiration was the ominous Hemingway sentence, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

Both the title of the book and the Hemingway sentence made me think of birth stories.

So I'm curious to know what you readers can do. Tell me your birth story (stories?) in six words. One tip from the book's compiler: use specifics.

Here's a (neither funny nor clever) try:

Told the midwife to "DO SOMETHING!"


Doctor and nurse watched from the corner.

I hope some of you are more inspired!



Anonymous Kimbrah said...

Three boys birthed: clinical, posterior, joyous.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Stacey said...

Front seat, 60mph, early morning, WOW!

3:44 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Nurse insists it's worth it. Correct.

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Jen said...

Purple silence. My body betrayed us.

8:03 PM  
Blogger T$ said...

From my first birth:

Broken Water. Hours pushing. Vacuum extraction.

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From my second birth:

On all fours, laughing him out.

11:09 PM  
Blogger Alwen said...

"Tell Sarah I need her NOW!"

(That would be my very experienced midwife calling for the Ob-Gyn nurse as she spread the sterile drape. Ha. Our son was born a couple of minutes later.)

12:07 PM  
Anonymous HelloKitty45 said...

Unplanned cesarean. Stillbirth avoided. Overwhelmed...overjoyed.

3:35 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

She found her way through me.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous Julie said...

Hmmm. I thought the never-worn item in the story was a wedding dress. I'll be thinking about my birth stories now, though.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

dreams crushed, broken, and trampled on

11:39 AM  
Anonymous etcheuffa said...

"Next push we'll have a head"

(I told THEM!)

3:39 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Nothing a few stitches won't fix.

6:49 PM  
Anonymous marianne said...

Brooke. Shannon. Zachary. Alexander. Camille. Complete.

10:57 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer D said...

Beautiful, Strong, Calm, Knowing, Primal Yell!

1:27 PM  
Blogger Holly said...

Born into Mama's underwear: a hat!

1:39 PM  
Blogger reeciebird said...

Eleven hours; four hours; thirty-five minutes.

1:03 AM  
Blogger doulicia said...

these are great. I'm going to keep this up for anothe day or two to see if any more come in. Each one really does tell its own little story. Thanks all!

11:58 AM  
Anonymous joanne said...

He's Huge! No wonder that hurt.

(he wasn't really huge, but that was my first thought when I saw my baby boy after he came out!)

8:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank god i'm not pregnant anymore.

(horrible pregnancy - wonderful kid. these were truly my thoughts as his head came out, in a wonderful home birth.)


10:35 PM  
Blogger Shells said...

She's here! I feel empty inside ?!?!

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Term son long labor forceps assist.

Twin daughters one live one still.

12:13 PM  
Blogger erksnerks said...

42 hours singing, never stronger, Thanksgiving.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Tara said...

Breathing him out, into our hands.

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is not how I birth.

Actually said to my nurse as I was being induced for severe pre-eclampsia. Ended in another VBAC but only after abx for GBS, pit and AROM, mag sulfate, foley and restricted to bed.

This is now how I birth.

6:29 PM  
Blogger I am a Monkey's Momma said...

Warding off ghosts created my deamons.

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

From my third, on Feb. 16th 2008:

Don't push, can't not, he's here!

8:00 PM  
Blogger Kristina said...

epidural, episiotomy, fast, third degree, hysterectomy

- or -

would i still have my uterus?

2:31 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

nervous, crampy, cranky, tired, determined, euphoric!

(36 hours of labor--those are the adjectives that sum up my feelins over the course of time that passed. Thankfully the euphoria lasted the longest!)

9:55 PM  
Blogger MamaVee said...

Almost ruptured uterus. Cesarean saved us.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Firefly Mama said...

Humming along, easy, then BAM! Child.

8:33 PM  
Blogger Nicole D said...

#1 - Small Pill, Medium Baby, Big Cut
#2 - Spine on spine, hold on, pushing...
#3 & 4 - two babies, one labor, fast everything.
#5 - Holy Mary Mother Joseph - not Catholic.

:o) I want to hear the stories behind all of these (although some I already know)!!!

1:46 PM  
Blogger cooler*doula said...

No, it's too soon... Oh! Look!

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Kat said...

#1 - Push, then HOLD! Pelvis must expand!
#2 - TENS nipple stimulation makes induction easy.
#3 - Next time, leave for hospital sooner.
#4 - 15-inch head is 'nuff said.

7:50 PM  
Blogger This Beloved Momma said...

I love this idea!!!!!!!!!!!

1st birth: Everything that could go wrong did.

2nd birth: Fast birth that brought me healing.

10:03 PM  
Blogger Stassja said...

40 laboring, 4 pushing, 1 alone.

(Lengthy induction that lead to cesaerean)

10:13 AM  
Anonymous anna said...

Pushing *soooo* much nicer than contractions.

3:51 PM  
Blogger Vixie said...

Ten pounds, two hours, no tears!


He's here, ran downstairs, called Mom.

5:25 PM  
Anonymous Lynn said...

Baby came out.
I came alive.

1:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#1: prenatal midwife arrested, awesome unattended homebirth
#2: midwife care, two hour precipitous unattended
#3: midwife! quick, shoulder dystocia, huge baby

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

natural nine pounds.
big brown eyes.


1:26 PM  
Blogger drbookgrrl said...

Bradley intentions...every intervention...happy ending!

1:43 PM  
Blogger yatima said...

"You're the best Christmas present ever."

"You're amazing. Your will be done."

"Are you comfortable?" "ARE YOU KIDDING???"

1:56 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

For my first one:

Moaning. Surgery. Tachycardia. Baby whisked away.

(we got him back)

Second one:

Everyone's heart's OK! Cuddle, nurse Charlie.

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Rivka said...

Disabled mom has gloriously normal birth.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Janice said...

Nine? No wonder. Push. Hello baby.

9:36 PM  
Blogger Molly said...

Baby 1: Two centimeters? No, 10! Hooray!

Baby 2: Two hours. 9#2 baby. I'm awesome!

2:40 PM  
Blogger Sheridan said...

Birth #1
stillness, urgency, removal, emptiness, finally joy
Birth # 2
Excitement, slowly progressing, pushing forever, joy
Birth #3
Peace, confident, relaxed, pushing, amazement, joy

5:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What? Why? Epiphany. Bittersweet. The rooftops!

9:32 PM  
Blogger Jeanne Sager said...

I can't. You can. She's here.

3:29 PM  
Blogger Chef's Widow said...

He was 6. She was 9.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Chef's Widow said...

One healthy kidney, one kidney lost.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

baby 1- you're gonna cut me where?!?!?!?!?!?!
baby 2- scared the hell outta my hubby


9:24 AM  
Blogger J said...

Overcome with joy, overcome with sadness.
(our babygirl was stillborn after 2 years of infertility)

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(to the disbelieving nurses)

See? I was too in labor.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Marcie said...

Sweet Jesus, my vagina's on fire.

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Jackie said...

1st baby, Hard birth, easy baby.

2nd baby, easy birth, hard baby.

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a boy! No, a girl!

5:01 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

#1: What the hell? Am I dying?
#2: Walked in, got naked, had baby.
#3: Why are we doing this again?!?

2:18 AM  
Blogger Stewgad said...

Who's that screaming? Oh, it's me.

10:00 AM  
Blogger Tara said...

I will never be the same.

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

E: birthtub leaked! slow heartbeat, c-section, LOVE.

T: unsuccessful VBAC. redhead!? peace, hmmmm vasectomy?

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#1 baby: "I betcha she'sa 10:10 baby! repeat" - Doctor yelled this over and over..
And yes she was a 10:10 (apgar) baby. I thought he was referring to a weight of 10lbs 10ozs.

#2 baby: "Doctor went home. Panicked nurse."

#3 baby: "Slow trickle. Induced. Pulled tendon."

2:55 PM  
Blogger sparkupthepassion said...

"Are you SURE it's a GIRL!?"

10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Parents had sex, I was born!

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Take it away; shoot it's father!!!"

reported comment my mum made when I was born...

8:24 AM  
Anonymous Joanie said...

9 pounds, sideways, wasn't gonna happen!!

12:43 PM  
Blogger shenay said...

#1 WOW. Hi honey, I'm your mom!

#2 Unwrapped cord, aspirated, beautiful pink girl

9:07 AM  
Anonymous korn said...

born at night, not LAST night!

10:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

20 hours,botched epidural, ow!,happy

5:56 PM  
Blogger graceandkate said...

4 kids...Never again! Planned induction! TTTS sucks!

11:57 PM  
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5:25 PM  
Blogger Jackie said...

Emergency, ambulance, dead? Anaesthetic, caesarean - daughter!

3:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Induced, section, she cries, I bleed.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One boy, one girl, we're done!

6:29 AM  
Anonymous Lucy said...

Bloody long, bloody hard, instant love.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

breech, planned Caesarean, distant, joy, love

4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wet, too soon, waiting, panic, blue lights dash, calm

Surreal, Harry Potter, amazing, tiny, tinier, alone

Okay I cheated on this one but I think I deserve 12 words I did have 2 babies :-)

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

scared, wet, pushing, episiotomy, bullet, girl

4:48 PM  
Anonymous Mim said...

Infertility, hospital horror, perfect daughter, grateful.

2:40 AM  
Blogger S said...

intimate, candle lit lounge-room, free

7:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no leaving you at the firestation

1:01 AM  
Blogger Steph at Problem Solvin' Mom said...

It's a girl! Welcome little miracle!!

8:08 AM  

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