When the Vagina Stops Being a Recepticle
I have sat with this for a week or so, trying to be understanding. I can't. Frankly, I am repulsed. If a man watches his partner go through birth and somehow sees her as less sexual or less attractive, he had the wrong image of women to begin with.
Although no one seems to talk publicly about the problem, Josh is one of dozens of men who have confided to me that witnessing the births of their children has made it difficult for them to be attracted to their wives, at least in the short term. They seem to have trouble seeing them as sexual beings after seeing them make babies.
If the sight of your partner's body arouses you, great. But if your desire to be with her is based on the sight of her, it seems you are missing the boat. At the very heart of a woman's femininity is her procreative capacity. This capacity includes tenderness, vunerability, malleability -- all distinctly feminine virtues, and largely represented by the woman's role in creating new life.
Our reproductive capacity also includes emotions and states that are less easily accepted as feminine. There is a self-reliance, a fierceness, a raw power that is equally a feature of women. We do not show this side often, but doggonnit it's there. And what better example of it then the sight of a woman crowning her baby at the entrance to the vagina?
"Honestly," one man, married for 12 years, told me, "I think one of the main reasons I don't feel attracted to my wife is that I saw her give birth three times. It's like I know too much about that part of her." The mystery is gone.
Honestly? That's unfortunate. I would hope that most women are partnered with individuals who want to know them fully, who would stand in awe of their strength as they bring life out from within them.