Thursday, December 15, 2005

Coming soon to a college town near you

Posting has been very hard to do lately. No sooner did I recover from my flu, then my spouse got it. So I was in charge of the two kids round the clock. Then I had a three-day conference in Chicago (without internet access). Now I'm back in the usual routine, but digging out from six days out of the office.

Needless to say I have not had time to keep up with, let alone reflect on, the world of pregnancy and childbirth. I can only hope to do that soon.

In the interim, let me share my major disappointment of the fall, something I have been in denial about and unwilling to drag into my blog world. I can't really ignore it much longer. We -- my spouse, sons and I -- are quite likely to be relocating in the next year.

Spouse is finishing a Ph.D. He would like to use this degree to teach and write, which means a job as a professor somewhere is the best option. The only problem with this, a problem I had not considered until I had a spouse nearing the end of his Ph.D program, is that you have no control over which universities have openings in a given year.

So no matter that Spouse was willing to commute two hours by car to put him within reach of six universities near us. None of them had openings in his field. Who, you might wonder, did have openings this year? In the geographic regions I was willing to consider moving to?

U of Colorado
U of Wisconsin
York University
Harvard U
Tufts U
Cornell U
George Washington U
Virginia Tech at Alexandria
U of Michigan

Yesterday we got our first "ding." From...U of M. They notified Spouse that they are not going to consider his application in the pool because he's an internal candidate. We were warned of this, multiple times, from the search committee chair no less. There is a taboo, something incestuous, about hiring one's own alumni.

Still and all, we have been hoping desperately that the one scenario that would allow us to stay in the city that' been home for 13 years would somehow work out. Now it hasn't and I'm pretty disappointed.

I still can't bring myself to think about leaving my birth community, finding another doula partner as great as the one I have now, working with another non-profit as inspiring as the Center, having to cultivate new clients. Not to mention transition kids to a new school, leave behind the book group I enjoy so much, move away from my parents who have been such a help as I balance personal interests and the need for child care. Ack. Too much to consider now.

I know the glass can be "half full." But I think I have a few stages of grief to navagate first.


Blogger Sarahthedoula said...

...moving is so hard. While I've done it by choice a few times now that I'm an adult, as a kid my family lived in 10 different homes, and I had attended 10 different schools, (in 6 different geographic areas) by the time I made it to grade 10. Not a military family - just had to move a lot to find work. It's never an easy transition to make, and always requires time to grieve.

Anyway - if York University works out somehow, I live just over an hour away, and there are some wonderful doula's in the Toronto area!


4:40 PM  
Blogger T$ said...

WHAAAAAH. BOOOO HOOO (sob, sniff) Say it isn't so! (sticks head in sand, ala an ostrich)

9:53 AM  
Anonymous Ahavah said...

I moved almost every year as a child. Now that I'm an adult and stuck in a mortgage, I can't stand it! I want to leave.

I hope that wherever you end up finds your whole family happy and fulfilled. And some lucky doula will find a fantastic new partner - when the time is right!

1:28 PM  

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